A Case for Social Standards
Or What Floats Your Boat?

Something To Aspire To

Posted on August 5, 2013

This is an article I did not want to write. To me it was important to make a case for social standards. For a society to work together in harmony there has to be agreement on what we consider the normal and accepted way to behave. There are some facts here that cannot be overlooked. First and foremost; we are biological creatures with an innate drive to reproduce. And, that our need for reproduction is primal and wired. The need within us for reproduction is strong and for lack of better terminology, the reproductive act is pleasurably rewarding. If it wasn’t, then we would not have survived.

However, humans have managed to figure out that the reward aspect is the more important of the two. Great lengths have been taken to avoid reproduction, making pleasure the only goal of sexual activity. Most modern societies have selectively enhanced the pleasure part of the equation at the expense of reproduction. This is done primarily through modern contraception and abortion.

There is almost no end to the availability of products and services to enhance the experience of copulation. Various and assorted sex toys, male erectile drugs, and bizarre practices that range the gamut from pedophilia to snuff sex. Bestiality is legal in some states and the porn industry thrives everywhere. The guide rails of restraint are being eroded in every corner of our society. And, I can safely predict it will only get worse as social values decline.

There is no attempt in this piece to put the burden of guilt on any person. We have all done our part in the creation of “openness”. When you were young, do you remember when just holding the hand of a person you really liked was electric? But as we grew in experience, that special feeling of holding hands no longer thrilled us like it once did. Life has dealt us all the same hand. It is like getting into the proverbial hot bath tub and getting used to it. Or as a friend of mine does, compare life’s experiences with the first line of cocaine a person snorts. Cocaine abusers try to recreate the feeling that was so powerful that first time, but it never happens.

The nature of human progressive carnality has long been known and recognized. From antiquity, various solutions have been sought to blunt progressive carnal behavior. The idea that there is a progressive element to maintain our sexual satisfaction gave rise to moral standards. Moral standards were adopted by different cultures to help maintain civil societies. Without the boundaries established by moral standards, societies became chaotic and contentious. The standards were not created to prevent human exploration into the sensual world, but to generally enhance the value of the life we live. A society’s moral code is akin to a speed limit. Speed limits are not designed to delay you but more importantly to help make sure that you get there.

Moral codes generally discourage behavior such as pedophilia, inciteful public sexual displays, and harmful practices to individuals. Moral codes also encourage being respectful to others, and especially, to recognize the word ‘no’. There is nothing bad here. An ideal solution that holds the progressive carnal beast within us at bay is to marry young to another equally inexperienced person and progress together. However, this solution is not for everybody. Each of us is left to make our own decisions; so one piece of advice is to not shortcut the learning process. When an inexperienced person is linked to a very experienced person, it is the learning process that is sacrificed. Once gone, it can never be retrieved.

One of the great joys of our life is our sexual experimentations. Provided we don’t make a mess of our lives first, the journey to sexual maturity can be very rewarding. It is up to each individual to claim that reward.

It is not a comfort to be around individuals who have no regard or respect for morality. Temptation is hard enough to resist without courting it. And, being around people with no grounding in morality is a sure recipe for creating havoc in your life. The very definition of a society is a group of like minded people bound by the same moral base. The people within a society who adhere to a different set of values have the potential to wreck that society – and often do.

When the learning curve between lovers becomes short circuited by a more experienced interloper, it puts pressure on the original pairing. Comparisons will be made and judgments passed as to the quality of sexual performance by the original partner. Not all, but most will lose confidence in their current relationship under these circumstances. (An outsider is usually more exciting!)

Most of the readers of this text will be adults who have already matured sexually. Your path is already drawn, but your children or your grandchildren may still have their path before them. It is the young who should be taught the lessons learned from centuries of experience with these matters. It is both foolish and wasteful to ignore what has been taught to us by countless cultures of the past. With a little help, the young can avoid some of the chaos that is caused by growing up too fast.

Do not undervalue going to church and Sunday school. There is real fellowship and positive grounding in ethics and morality there. Most churches promote love and goodness. However, do not idealize your fellow church goers into any role models you may envision. They too are human and fight the same temptations as you, and sometimes fail. What is important to note is that most church goers recognize their weaknesses and go to church to gain strength against life’s temptations. There is no escape from having to interact with the seedier side of society. But going to church helps inoculate you from those interactions.

Support members of your society who strive to uphold standards that enhance our human existence.

"Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement." - Unknown, quoted by Jim Horning, Will Rogers and others"

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